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The many times I said I would and didn’t.
Every thing I promised and did not uphold.
Every action that felt like forever but was temporary.
Many words which blended beautifully but left a noticeable scar.
Each thought of inadequacy paired with victimization.
Blaming instead of acknowledging.
Talking yet not speaking, hearing but not listening.
Being present but remaining distant.
Showing courage but giving into fear.
Uplifting hope yet destroying will.
Expressing emotions but never quite feeling them.
Doubting and foreseeing disaster before navigating hope and conquest.
Failing you because I was unable to pass my own test.
Hurting you because I had experienced it myself.
Not finishing what I started.
Yelling instead of teaching.
Portraying physical strength but lacking mental fortitude.
Punishing while not having the discipline of my own.
Judging but being guilty myself.
Always saying me and forgetting WE!
Attempting to just believe instead of actually knowing!
I apologize for believing I could heal you, without first healing me.