As a father, nothing is more precious than the time and love invested into your child. It is pivotal to teach lessons of discipline and even boundaries. The greatest responsibility of a man is the cultivation and growth of another human through lessons both knowing and unknown.

Wasting that precious gift is one of the most toxic and detrimental things a man can do. A father teaches knowledge and wisdom. Mothers will forever teach the application of attributes but the sacred gift a man gives his children is a subtle hidden jewel.

Women thrive off the energy their fathers have given them. A man who is lackadaisical, passive, and unable to articulate himself teaches his daughter to find a man who is unambitious, not firm in his own identity, as well as a manipulative being. A woman who has seen a provider, a man of integrity, as well as humility will seek nothing but a man of honor and prestige in all endeavors. Even in the rebellion of going against the grain will lead a daughter to a man who will eventually prove as to why it was so essential to have a high caliber of a man.

Boys fall under the premise of being plagued by being influenced or idolizing boys[refer to public media], a mans greatest gift is his vulnerability and detachments which lead to logical thinking in the midst of emotional discourse. So a boy who watches a man does not watch a famous identity he watches the character behind him. As famous as Batman was it was his true identity who gave life to him. Bruce Wayne was as much a philanthropist and man of valor as Batman was. His focus was centered around the identity of stealth to protect those whom he cared for most. As his vengeance was transmuted to justice. Never was he rewarded for his deeds as Batman but Bruce was steadfast in his development. My son a huge fan of spider-man is another excellent example. While the superhuman abilities are what catches his eye behind the mask is a young man driven by PURPOSE. Every superhero has a story, T’Challa (Black Panther) a King, a man of intellect, and honor has his Kingdom to uphold and protect. As a man of color my kingdom as a father is no different and requires me to imbue the very essence of a black panther. Cunning, protective,fearless,meticulous, savvy, and most of all fierce.

Purpose is the determining factor in anyones motive. Everyone has a purpose yet many fail to seek it. Many wander through life oblivious of purpose because “Father Time” has been absent. The women with lack of it have no set of criterion to uphold to a man who unconditionally wants the best for them, and not in regards to their own selfish agenda. That plays on the mental prowess of a young girl into her womanhood. She will fall victim to not understand the love of a man whom simply wants nothing physical or material from her. A man who desires to see her shine even if that shine is not given credit to him or shown in his presence. This can be altered with a wonderful male role model but that initial protection and care should start from Day 1 until the day of union with another man set to be a protector. The lack of a worthy male in a young boy results in the destruction of etiquette and standards paired with discipline deficiency. When the real is silent and outnumbered the fake engulf the empty space, so little boys become big boys posing as grown men. A boy can and should grow through life finding their own unique purpose, but the foundation is the pivotal way to build up their own home of character. A rocky foundation leads to uneven and incessantly tumultuous appearances in a young mans life which lead to it spilling over into young women’s lives as well, who may not have a criterion to uphold. A young boy’s need to have a sense of identity, courage, and even discipline can only come from a valuable source, A FATHER.

It is easier to build strong children, than it is to repair broken men. – Frederick Douglass

These traits are not to be confused with adornments and shiny things but internal jewels that turn a boy to a man. To water a little girl and help her blossom into a lady of quality and true morality. One whom shall find strength in pressure and perseverance through life & longevity.  The basis of a man is not about how many trinkets he collects but how many of the tools he uses to cultivate, repair, and or build up all he comes in contact with. Some men are blessed by a father in many ways. Whether it be the complete absence or complete presence. Also many are supplemented with viable replacements due to voids placed by an absent father. Yet the verdict is clear a male standard is a major key.

As a young man, my superhero was my father, unaware of whom he was truly, I idolized a false prophet and desired to be him. Outside of being his namesake, it was almost assumed, I would be everything I presumed he was. To me, nothing was to be said ill about my father because in my mind he was slightly present and I could see myself as him one day. I held his face, I carried his name, and more importantly, I was his 1st child. I never viewed anyone as high as I did he in my childhood, As I have grown and been blessed with two beautiful children the greatest gift I have been given is clarity. I realized that I was being treated ill, I was not strongly considered and was more of a good idea than actually a well designed and desired plan. Am I bitter about these things,no, at one point I was but no longer. I asked God for it[clarity] and it reared its head but not until I was ready to completely accept it. I no longer desire to be how and who my father is as a father, which ironically is a great thing. I have two children to show a standard of a foundation, that I never truly received so my work is genuinely cut out for me. Starting from ground zero I had to annihilate my own self-image paired with ego and reinvent myself, seek for that which was hidden. I have stumbled so much, fell, cried, lost, gained, and even felt inadequate in the midst of many feats I have had to overcome. I then decided to wipe my tears, strengthen my stance, dig in, and find discipline within. I do not know what it is like to truly bond with my own father, but for my son and daughter, it will always be a point to give them everything I have inside and out until my heart no longer beats. Sacrifices will always be evident and times of hurt will accompany the many laughs. I can not woe about what was or wasn’t yet my journey has been tried and true and for most, it would crumble them. I was blessed in many ways and came across many role models from which I have garnered my abilities and released my naive ways. To them, I am forever grateful.

While what is real versus fake will always hold true, the cream always rises to the top. Inevitably some men will either neglect or misuse their given ability to build up a child into their fullest potential. I choose to adhere to the strongest and greatest task a man can receive.

“Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists.” – Jay Z {Drug Dealers Anonymous}


Fathers in the community of color have remained under siege as have our women, but today that important role is not to be overshadowed or overlooked. Women invest in him, in being the greatest version, so that he bestows that library of growth to the world. His scars shall tell stories and proverbs of wisdom that can be passed down for Generations.

So to my men please take your FATHER TIME seriously!

Happy Holiday’s and Blessings to You and Yours!