REFL (EX) ION
July 29, 2018
Every action has an opposite or equal reaction.
A step in positivity brings positive results but can be disguised as negative feedback.
I stare in the mirror and question who it is I am staring at.
Clouded by self-doubt, anxiety, impatience, and most of all folly.
Child hearted but it seems to be missing, I seldom feel my heartbeat.
I seek love but hate to feel it because it has always been a piercing and painful feat.
Like when the doctor hits your knee and your leg jumps, I always have keen reflexes.
Never flight always fight, but what happens when your fight has diminished.
When your desire fades, ambition wavers, purpose eludes you.
What possible reflection can come of that?
I assume the deeper I look into my own reflection the odds are my minds reflex will step in.
Lying awake, alone, now how did I manage to find myself in this predicament.
Music seems to be a beautiful suitor, yet a feminine touch and mind I yearn for most.
Strong and fierce, but back to my own reflecting.
I think of her and wonder do I happen to creep into her thoughts as she does mine.
Looking at myself I find errors, mistakes, flaws, miscues.
How did I not catch them, but my reflection surely did.
Staring me deep into my soul, it dug under the bed and cleared all monsters.
A version of me which once was savage, untamed, undisciplined.
Could she have seen beyond the beast?
Who knows because it is only I who has the ability to reflect.
I ran from me or would not fully allow myself the time I needed to grow.
Blindly led, dastardly self-assured, verbally meek.
A follower who was destined to lead.
Yet intimidated by the responsibility and response it will garner.
Now that this is felt I’m wondering what will be the refl(ex)ion.