Diary Of A Black Man #44

Dear Diary,

Not that I believe this to be some sort of omen or portend. I see that my energy is vast and abundant, it has engulfed me and in it has been diligently making me face myself. My desire for physicality and sexual intimacy has been unusually high, as I’ve kept it under wraps it still finds its way to revisit. Not even in the midst or allowing myself to be in temptations reach, I’m now in a relationship with self that I see I am seeking. Not for conquest or belief that I’m defined by my phallus. No merely as a form of art, expression, wisdom, healing, and growth. I now see sexual energy as more of a vessel not merely for procreation but a medium to bring therapy, self-cognizance, and clarity. It may seem a bit Erie but somehow it doesn’t feel lustful more so merciful. A tool not used for destruction but for redemption. I’m currently struggling with this notion. I am also currently celibate, yet I find my urges growing very strong and I am without a doubt, properly analyzing the triggers. Maybe feedback or understanding is what I need to search for. I’ll revisit this here soon! In the mean time my focus has to remain as it is quite obvious something may be arising here soon!

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