Diary Of A Black Man #38

Dear Diary,

It is a bit uncomfortable setting certain boundaries I must admit. Like it’s tough to acknowledge that sometimes I am not as interested as I am putting on to be. That what I’m looking for is something that takes time and patience and I always feel as if I lack both. I’m not going to allow pessimism and doubt to creep into my head. It’s at this familiar crossroad and I am tempted with old pleasantries and I’ve come to the vast understanding of what I NEED in order to be who I am and Want to be. It’s not loud or obnoxious nor is it boisterous. It’s silent and diligent. I remember that I was not a jester merely jovial and I was not a fool merely observant. I love to spot things and utilize them. I’m a problem you’d care not to have and a blessing you wish would stroll your way. I’m not in control anymore and that is fine. I relinquished that subtly unrealistic request. As I understand it’s numerous variables. So I’m simply going to embrace, enjoy, and learn. I am actually nervous but excited for the ride.

Today felt like letting go…

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