Dear Diary,

Today I was exhausted not exactly sure why my energy level was so low but I can take a sure fire guess. Things have been rather difficult here as of late, in almost every way imaginable but I seek to find various spots of gratitude and abundance. It may seem redundant but honestly it may be the one thing that is keeping me from sinking into a place of depression which I fought for years to shovel my self out of. I know that somehow and someway things will grow from this difficult time, as for now I’m remaining faithful & patient. Otherwise today I finished a very insightful and highly recommended piece of literature. 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suzan Orman. Now not to say I finished all 330 pages in merely a day but today I completed my last 65 or so pages and honestly it ended completely different than expected. I have a few other books I’m currently finishing up as well. On my challenge to finish 36 or 3 a month by my birthday. Yet i am several books behind my desired pace. Anywho, today I felt weighed down. I miss my children and for the first time in quite some time I actually crave a deep and close intimate relationship. I’ll chalk it up to he gloomy weather but something in me today saw my value and realized I deserve to be loved and love someone as equally deserving. In essence I think I was wishing to have someone to simply be with in my current time. I swiftly snapped out of it and realized I do not need nor am I positioned to take on the responsibility of another’s well being as I’m currently struggling with my own.

Yeah today was draining but I got up made myself dinner and took a long bath. So maybe I need to replenish and wash away all the problems.