Diary of A Black Man #27

Dear Diary,

This week was a whirlwind, it was a mesh of ambition, lessons, loss, victory, love, and patience. Faith and gratitude have been my current appetite here lately and being more intentional about it has made me starve so many distractions. We always talk about the grind as if it’s this tumultuous journey and in plenty of Regards it is. It is a constant tunnel of darkness. A road of winding and narrow paths, yet it truly is a joyful place of reflection. I’m ending my week soaking my body sore, my mind almost overloaded, my emotions sporadic, yet my heart and soul seem to be full. A purpose is brewing, a momentum is taking charge, and unattainable now becomes opportunity. The years have been difficult, they have been trying, they have hurt, they have scars left in me but I acknowledge that I am not fine. I am not merely ok nor were those things to my delight. Their consequences however have been the substance and recipe for this taste of self expression, esteem, and even blessing. My life has been given boundless and limitless blessings & joys & pains & opportunities.

This week was humbling. I can easily slip as many do, I can quickly fall as I have done before. My truth can quickly be denied and my presence can be overlooked. My voice not heard nor paid attention to. My reaction to those cues though are my own to partake. My own cross to take up and lift as I carry with me burden and patience. I hold laughter and tears, smiles and frowns, and most importantly myself a paradoxical being injected with heavenly spirit, created from universal wisdom, and a galaxy of explosive expression and exploration. My life is one that I no longer desire to dread or merely go through but live. I will endure it the hard times, not shying away. While I will laugh and embrace the great times, and share it with the deserving.

This week might have been an overload but it was an abstract way to show me how God has allowed me to overcome and more importantly how strong he truly has allowed me to become.

I say that it felt like I hit 1 more rep after you just hit 1 more rep because you wanted to see if you could hit 1 more rep….after you completed a workout you were unsure how much could handle and you felt tired yet disciplined and inspired.

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